So it’s been a while since I have blogged. This is how I role. I go in and out of things. Not saying that is a good thing but life speeds up, there are less hours then a I think and before long months have gone by and I have not written.
Today was interesting. Today my husband and I dropped our 13 year old daughter off at the airport to fly to Hawaii for the first time to meet her best friend and her family. Now I know lots of kids fly really young, on their own. But today it was more than just her flying by herself on a plane. Or going through security or customs by herself. I knew she could do it. Ben assured me she could do it. But when I/we reflected after we walked out of that airport about why this felt “big” to us I think it was because years ago when I was pregnant with Journey, I dreamed that she would travel the world. That she or he at time, because I didn’t know what I was having would love to fly, to see new sights and experience new cultures like I did. As well as the fact that Ben and I were living abroad when we got pregnant with her.
I remember even on the car ride to hospital telling Ben that we needed to come up with a ” girl ” name just in case and he responding with ” it’s a boy but you can think of a name if you’d like” Journey… I thought to myself. Fast forward five months to her diagnosis and I must admit a part of me allowed myself to believe that the dream of her traveling the world
would not be a reality. How could she do it on her own? Now I have shared Journey’s story here on this blog so most of you know that she has blown away every odd set before her. So why should I think this would be any different? When given the opportunity to meet her best friend in Hawaii we/she was thrilled. How could we pass this up? So she worked hard, saved her pennies and we found a ticket that would require her to fly alone ( with no assistance from airline) there and back. When I asked Journey what she thought she did not even flinch. She squealed with delight.
The rest is history and we find ourselves at the airport this morning. I reminded her 10 times that a passport is an important document and that she can’t lose it ” I know mom…and I know to keep my wallet close. yes… I know mom”.
As she hugged me goodbye she began to cry. She is only 13 and she still likes being around me which I will count my blessings for. They were not ” sad” tears but I knew she was a little nervous of the unknown. We stood and watched as got to security. She floundered with the buckets with her one hand and of course I wanted to help her. It takes time to take off your shoes and tie them back up… it takes her twice the time. ” She will be ok. She can do this” Ben said and I knew she could.
So why does this seem like a big deal to me? I know it is layered. My little girl who is not so little really stated her first declaration of independence today. Sure she’s been away from us numerous times to camp or with friends on holiday. But today we sat in the airport and realized that for the last 14 years we have been holding her so close… we have watched as she has beaten odd after odd. We have seen her win huge battles and seen her be defeated and now we are entering a new stage. We still get to hold on but she is taking steps to her future. A future that in four years may see her out of the house… off to college or on a world adventure. A future that may include a graduation or a wedding. And the reality of that being closer now than to the day she was born hit home today.
I know we all of these moments. They are bigger for some than others. But today that dream that one day she would fly somewhere else in the world without me came true and I have a feeling when she returns, she will soon be planning where she will go next. I read all of my kids Oh the Places You’ll go by Doctor Seus. What an exciting adventure for all us. It is amazing what our kids will do… where they will go when we learn to let go just a bit ( not too much:) but just a little. Let them spread their wings and sure enough they fly. Sounds soooo cheesy but it’s so true. She has landed safely and is already enjoying the warm water an sunshine. She did it..Of course she did:) And she still has he passport and wallet.
Julie Kennedy Smith 